“What are you thinking about?”
I felt like I had been awoken from a daze. Christine sat before me in her usual spot, gazing at me with her beautiful eyes. I wondered how long I had been staring off ignoring her, lost in my own thoughts.
“How long have we been here?”
“What do you mean?”
“I just feel like I've lost track of time...”
“It's four thirty. We've been here since four.”
“I guess I'm just preoccupied...”
“With your story?”
“Yeah, I just can't seem to let go and start afresh.”
She looked at me for a few moments, gathering her thoughts together. Finally, she said, “Sometimes we need to let go of the past in order to move on with our lives. You need to let this go and move on to something that we can only hope will be bigger and better. You might fail, but that's the point of life: to have success and failures. And, in the end, maybe we'll learn something along the way – maybe you'll learn something by moving on.”
Her words resonated with me as I thought long and hard about them. I needed to let this story about Dillion Green go in order to progress. I needed to stop trying to turn a story I had lost interest in, into something great that I could be proud of.
“Is this the part in the story where I'm supposed to have some sort of realization? Where I'm supposed to discover something about myself that I had long forgotten that caused me to obsess about this story?”
“I don't know, I'm not a writer. You are. You tell me.”
“But what am I supposed to realize? I know I need to let go of this story... but I can't.”
“And why not?”
“I'm not sure...”
“Then you need to look deeper. You need to get this over with so you can move on with your life and write something you'll truly be proud of.”
“But how do you know what this story won't be something I can be proud of?”
“Because you're looking for a happy ending to the story; but, not every story has a happy ending... not every story can resolve itself so that the hero comes out on top. From what you've told me, I know where the story will end, and I know it's not what you want. So you'll twist it, distort it, ruin it to fit your needs. It'll no longer feel real, it will no longer be true to life. And that's why it will never be a story you can be proud of.”
She knew how to cut right to the heart of the problem. She knew me better than I knew myself and we both knew it.
“So where do I go from here?” I asked.
“You need to stop attempting to make Dillion Green resolve this conflict that you are attempting to resolve through him.”